Welcome to the brave and bold new world of automobile bonking

Expert claims driverless cars could encourage more backseat shagging

The prospect of our roads and motorways one day being populated entirely by driverless cars might sound like a daunting enough one, but for one expert it is a cause of concern for an entirely different reason – sex.

Barrie Kirk of the Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence knows a thing or two about robot cars. And according to his way of thinking, the dawn of a new world of driverless vehicles could prompt a sexual revolution of sorts for those seeking a bit of back seat love time.

That’s right, the time-honored practice of sex in the back of a Vauxhall Corsa could be back on the menu in a big way and Barrie isn’t kidding about this either.

“I am predicting that, once computers are doing the driving, there will be a lot more sex in cars,” he explained to the Toronto Sun.

“That’s one of several things people will do which will inhibit their ability to respond quickly when the computer says to the human, ‘Take over.’”

While the prospect of being required to change gear mid-orgasm is bad, it certainly beats the alternative of having a robot “take over” mid-shag though, for some, that is already a very real issue.

Ensuring that a driver who may not have been paying attention to his or her surroundings can suddenly control a vehicle may be easier said than done, said Kirk. “People will not be able to respond in time.”

Federal officials also suggest autonomous vehicles be equipped with so-called “black box” data recorders, similar to devices found in larger aircraft.

Perhaps said driverless shaggers can keep themselves busy with other, less carnal, activities during their journey – a game of I-Spy already goes down well on a long car trip while Top Trumps are also available from most good retailers.

Kirk does not offer much in the way of evidence for his assertions either, which begs the question as to whether our Barrie is battling some of his own issues with all things automated here.

Nevertheless, if Barrie’s sex-filled/fuelled version of the near future does come to pass, Loaded imagines that some sort of Judge Dredd-esque sex police force would probably patrol our roads in search of renegade criminal rutters.

Welcome to the future.

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