North Korea’s state-run newspaper The Pyongyang Times has reported that a manufacturer in the communist country has developed a miracle liquor that is hangover-free.
It reported that the “suave” booze is produced by Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory, and is a secret blend of a six-year-old ginseng extract called Kaesong Koryo insam and glutinous rice instead of sugar.
Replacing the sugar with scorched, glutinous rice reportedly removes the bitterness from the insam whilst also, miraculously, resulting in no hangover.
“Koryo Liquor,” writes Jong Hwa Sun, “which is made of six-year-old Kaesong Koryo insam, known as being highest in medicinal effect, and the scorched rice, is highly appreciated by experts and lovers as it is suave and causes no hangover.”
Unsurprisingly for a drink that comes in at 30%-40% alcohol, yet spares bleary eyes the morning after, wonder booze “Koryo Liquor” has already won awards. The newspaper also reported that it has come first in the food sector festival, as well as being registered as a “national scientific and technological hit”.
The “suave liquor”, according to The Pyongyang Times’ outlandish claims, “exudes national flavor”. Which can only mean that it tastes horrendous.
The story isn’t the first unusual news to come from the totalitarian state.
It follows other reports including those that claimed the previous dictator Kim Jong-il shot 11 hole-in-ones in his only ever round of golf (it was such a success that he immediately retired from the sport), as well as last year’s Kumdang-2 vaccine, which is they claim cures HIV/AIDS, drug addiction, cancer, MERS and Ebola.
Science (unfortunately) dictates that much of the above is likely to be nothing more than unintentionally hilarious propaganda, but Loaded will be reaching out to Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory to sample the “suave” booze to see if it is hangover-free, and appreciated by experts and lovers alike.